.Hawaii.

Back in October Levi and I went to Hawaii to enjoy some "us" time and spend time with my sister and her family again. Since we were just there 6 months prior we didn't feel rushed to cram everything in. This trip was perfection. We did everything from exploring caves, snorkeling-every day, running on the beach, shaved ice, Road to Hana in the freezing rain, naps on the beach, gelato that was way over prices, collecting sea glass, swap meets, magic shows, and actually not getting burnt this go around!

.Peculiar Baby. {8}

17 Months

Update:

Since my last post, we had discussed trying another IUI, we had to check on insurance and see what we had available for the remainder of the year. September and October were no-go's for another IUI due to bad timing on trips, not the end of the world. So we went ahead and did our 2nd round this month. 

And to my surprise, our insurance covers 100% of IUI's!! That made a million of my worries go away, knowing that if my body can handle it, I will keep doing the IUI's as needed.

-Fast forward-

Black Friday. Didn't go as I had hoped it to and Aunt Flow came back for another visit. DARN HER!! I really wish there was an easy blood work test or teeny tiny camera inside of me that could figure out why my eggs and Levi's swimmers won't be friends. I had 3 eggs ready for action this month and Levi had way more little active buddies ready to go this around. Sheesh...some day soon, they will make the best of friends, I can just feel it!

This whole experience has brought Levi and I so close, closer together than I think any other trial would have brought us. Heavenly Father knew we could handle this, and even tho I may or may not have been extra extra moody this past month, I know that Levi still loves me. And I love that I have something to blame my craziness on;) 

 Every month feels almost like a slap in the face when Aunt Flow comes, I can't help but just to remind myself there is always next month. And the less "pity me" I do, the faster I recover. I try my best to not let this over take my life. I have had my ups and downs with the current Doctor's I am seeing {ok lets be honest, I am switching Doctors in January and will be going to the same doctor my sister went to next year if our insurance is still as great as it is right now} I am confident that they know what they're doing and that I will have a baby when it is the right time. I just feel that this new doctor I will be seeing will be able to give me more answers, and I look forward to knowing I will be seeing the same doctor each visit instead of 1 of 3 doctors.

I was talking to one of my sisters last week, and she helped remind me that we just need to choose and be happy. Life is so much more fun that way. Sure you can get and be mad, but why? If you can choose how to feel, why not choose to be happy and just assume the best out of every situation? As hard as that can be, I am up for the challenge! 

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Levi and I truly feel the love that we get from each of you.

-Xoxo-

.Rocky Point.

Although I almost bailed on going the morning of, I am so glad Levi and I decided to join my boss and some of my co-workers on the annual work trip down to Rocky Point the middle of October. 

This was from last year. I lacked on pictures then and I lacked on them again now. 

This time of year is perfect in Mexico, the weather isn't too hot and the water is the perfect temp. We ate a ton, got a lot of sun, walks on the beach, sleeping in, chasing down the mango man every day on the beach, Thrifty Ice-Cream, staying up late playing card and dice games, and best yet no cell phones. It was just what Levi and I needed. Oh and for the record, Rocky Point is totally safe right now.

.Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!.

The Summer Sales Crew is back!!!

So what did we do to celebrate? We traveled of course! (minus a few friends that were deeply missed)

I feel so blessed to have such amazing friends and to have the opportunity to travel as often as we do. 

This trip we traveled to ALASKA. Goodness me was it pretty. To escape the repulsive AZ heat and to dote on 6 days of crisp air, fishing, hiking, wearing scarves, playing cards till midnight, sipping apple cider and sitting by the fire. We had this trip planned for 7+ months, and it could not have come at a better time. It perfect and much, much needed. Jon's parents own the Glacier Bay Country Inn in Gustavus Alaska (a short 20 min jumper plane flight from Juno) and were nice enough to have us 4 couples for 6 days.

 We all got our own cute little cabins to stay in. Breakfast was every morning at 6 or 8am (depending on if you went fishing or not that day), lunch is provided out on the boat or for whatever excursion you may be doing that day. And dinner was at 6pm in the lodge. I ate like a QUEEN every night, dinner was scrumious! 

The boys went fishing 3 different times for Halibut. Us girls went once, and we didn't do so hot...I apparently don't do well on small boats in rocky water-whoops! But it was my first time fishing and had a blast for the most part. The other days that the boys were out on sea, us girls went out for lunch, hiking, exploring in the Arctic Cat and took 4 hour naps. It was perfection.

We came home with plenty of Halibut and I cannot wait to indulge!!!

This girls did a little hike to see an Air Plane crash that happened in the 50's. It was pretty interesting to see that just about all of it was still there.

Our Arctic Cat Adventure

-do not try this at home-

The night before we left the boys got to skin and filet all the fish.

They were packaged into 50pd boxes.

So sad they wouldn't let us girls help....syke!! no thank you....

These were the cute little cabins we each got to stay in.

The Gang

I seriously lucked out with some amazing friends

I kinda like this guy a lot.

The jumper plane we got to take.

Thank you Bud for the "special" air sickness pill you gave Levi. Worked like a charm!

.Peculiar Baby. {7} -IUI-

14 months.

 We have been through quite a bit the last month and half with all of this. Dr. Moffitt had me come in to have an ultra sound done where they inject iodine and make sure there is no blockage anywhere. Check! Passed that one with flying colors. 

That next day I started clomid, and luckily I had no funny side effects which is always a huge relief.

 Later that week they had me come back in for more blood work and to check how many eggs I had (basically to see how I responded to the clomid). Check! So far, so good!

One week later, I went in and Dr. checked my eggs once again, I had 3 (the 4th was almost there, but not quite the size as the others, that's ok tho), they were a perfect size, Levi's test came back perfect, so on "paper" there is no reason why we haven't gotten pregnant in the months past. So the doctor approved everything for an IUI and said "Let's get you a baby!". I cried, so anxious, excited, scared, nervous, and all of the above. Finally we are getting closer. 

That same night at 11:30pm Levi had to give me a trigger shot in my belly. Fun for him, not me.

 2 days later at 8am we had to be in Phx. Levi's appointment was first, then mine was at 9:30. The nurse was the one who performed the procedure, who we love, and were totally comfortable and confident with her. She explained to us that they only need 5 million swimmers to have this done, and well...Levi had 9x that. Hoping one of those 44 million will find it nice and cozy up there! The procedure went great, not too many side effects besides headaches every day from the hormones I have to take daily, twice a day.

Then the waiting game...
Longest 2 weeks of my life.
Sadly...it did not take this round and we are not pregnant. 
Yesterday all I could do is think about was us being parents. I went to lunch with 3 of my best friends and one of them turned to me and asked if I was ok. I told her I was just sad, and as soon as she said "I'm sorry", I completely lost it. She held my hand while I cried harder than I ever have.
I felt numb for the rest of the day. Cried a few more times. Took a 4hr nap. Sipped on some Diet Coke. And cuddled up to Levi while watching movies.
I try my hardest to not think "why" and to just remember there is a time and a place for everything. I know my Father in Heaven has a plan for me. We are going through this trial for a reason, for what I do not know, but I do know it will only make us stronger and closer to Him.
This month I will:
Have a clearer mind.
Attend the temple more than once.
Ask Him more of "help me to understand" and less "why".
Start training for a Sprint Triathlon.

We were considering attempting another IUI in November, but we may wait until next year. The last 14 months of "trying to time" everything just right has been a little overwhelming and exhausting. And even tho people always say "you get pregnant when you're not thinking or stressing about it", I have a feeling I will never not think about it.
I have to go in for more blood work later this week to check my levels. I have no idea what is next, but I know everything will be ok.
So until we do go in for another IUI, I will become a better me. Spiritually and Physically. No more excuses.

"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."
-Anonymous-