14 months.
We have been through quite a bit the last month and half with all of this. Dr. Moffitt had me come in to have an ultra sound done where they inject iodine and make sure there is no blockage anywhere. Check! Passed that one with flying colors.
That next day I started clomid, and luckily I had no funny side effects which is always a huge relief.
Later that week they had me come back in for more blood work and to check how many eggs I had (basically to see how I responded to the clomid). Check! So far, so good!
One week later, I went in and Dr. checked my eggs once again, I had 3 (the 4th was almost there, but not quite the size as the others, that's ok tho), they were a perfect size, Levi's test came back perfect, so on "paper" there is no reason why we haven't gotten pregnant in the months past. So the doctor approved everything for an IUI and said "Let's get you a baby!". I cried, so anxious, excited, scared, nervous, and all of the above. Finally we are getting closer.
That same night at 11:30pm Levi had to give me a trigger shot in my belly. Fun for him, not me.
2 days later at 8am we had to be in Phx. Levi's appointment was first, then mine was at 9:30. The nurse was the one who performed the procedure, who we love, and were totally comfortable and confident with her. She explained to us that they only need 5 million swimmers to have this done, and well...Levi had 9x that. Hoping one of those 44 million will find it nice and cozy up there! The procedure went great, not too many side effects besides headaches every day from the hormones I have to take daily, twice a day.
Then the waiting game...
Longest 2 weeks of my life.
Sadly...it did not take this round and we are not pregnant.
Yesterday all I could do is think about was us being parents. I went to lunch with 3 of my best friends and one of them turned to me and asked if I was ok. I told her I was just sad, and as soon as she said "I'm sorry", I completely lost it. She held my hand while I cried harder than I ever have.
I felt numb for the rest of the day. Cried a few more times. Took a 4hr nap. Sipped on some Diet Coke. And cuddled up to Levi while watching movies.
I try my hardest to not think "why" and to just remember there is a time and a place for everything. I know my Father in Heaven has a plan for me. We are going through this trial for a reason, for what I do not know, but I do know it will only make us stronger and closer to Him.
This month I will:
Have a clearer mind.
Attend the temple more than once.
Ask Him more of "help me to understand" and less "why".
Start training for a Sprint Triathlon.
We were considering attempting another IUI in November, but we may wait until next year. The last 14 months of "trying to time" everything just right has been a little overwhelming and exhausting. And even tho people always say "you get pregnant when you're not thinking or stressing about it", I have a feeling I will never not think about it.
I have to go in for more blood work later this week to check my levels. I have no idea what is next, but I know everything will be ok.
So until we do go in for another IUI, I will become a better me. Spiritually and Physically. No more excuses.
"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."
-Anonymous-
Longest 2 weeks of my life.
Sadly...it did not take this round and we are not pregnant.
Yesterday all I could do is think about was us being parents. I went to lunch with 3 of my best friends and one of them turned to me and asked if I was ok. I told her I was just sad, and as soon as she said "I'm sorry", I completely lost it. She held my hand while I cried harder than I ever have.
I felt numb for the rest of the day. Cried a few more times. Took a 4hr nap. Sipped on some Diet Coke. And cuddled up to Levi while watching movies.
I try my hardest to not think "why" and to just remember there is a time and a place for everything. I know my Father in Heaven has a plan for me. We are going through this trial for a reason, for what I do not know, but I do know it will only make us stronger and closer to Him.
This month I will:
Have a clearer mind.
Attend the temple more than once.
Ask Him more of "help me to understand" and less "why".
Start training for a Sprint Triathlon.
We were considering attempting another IUI in November, but we may wait until next year. The last 14 months of "trying to time" everything just right has been a little overwhelming and exhausting. And even tho people always say "you get pregnant when you're not thinking or stressing about it", I have a feeling I will never not think about it.
I have to go in for more blood work later this week to check my levels. I have no idea what is next, but I know everything will be ok.
So until we do go in for another IUI, I will become a better me. Spiritually and Physically. No more excuses.
"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."
-Anonymous-
